Extremely Random, Project Runway, the ''Leprachaun'' Edition!

The Truth & Myths of Tekong!!!

In this special edition post, I am here to cool down n mebbe add some concrete truth from the myths regarding life at Tekong. Without wasting time, here we go!!!

1) If u hav went thru BMT in Tekong, U must at least hav experienced the infamous ''Tekong Cough'' once. If u dun, it means u havent been thru bmt at all or u're inhuman.

2) If u decide to bring a pet to Tekong eg a dog...pls take care of it and dun let it loose otherwise ''some ppl'' decide to call the pestbusters mistaking it for a stray. Worse still, ''some ppl'' might mistreat the poor dog n did all ''sorts of mischief'' to get rid of it.

3) Helicopters are not to be cheered when u see one.....its no NDP

4) Tonners n rovers are ur best form of transport in Tekong. The same could not be said of their drivers.

5) Ghosts are a figment of ur imagination but ur commanders howling, screaming and cursing at night are not. In fact, they are a sign of danger................to YOU!

6) Deepavali is known as festival of light and can be celebrated anywhere but the field camp site.

7) Everyone will automatically cheer when CAT 1 is played on the speakers but jeer when Normal weather is played especially right before PT. (only army guys will get tis one)

8) Vulgarities are to be tolerated.

9) A trip to the medical centre is to be done wif caution. There's the long waiting time n the ''effective'' medication plus the hot-tempered medics n the overly-stressed Medical officers.

10) Being a ''Picasso'' dun help when u brushing ur rifle wif oil. Trust me.

11) Unless u're a Rocky hill sucka, get used to showering in the open.

12) When it comes to food, there's suddenly a lot of ''muslims''. When it comes to prayer time, the numbers significantly decreased.

13) The lift is there for a reason.....not so tt u can ride it......so tt sgts can inspect u every time they feel like it.

14) Stand by n all other commands wif standby means ur ass is in trbl if u dun clean up.

15) Pick up a crash course on malay so tt u dun turn to the wrong directions n embarassed urself durin marching n erm POP.

16) FHM n Maxim are the top reader's item followed by erm TODAY newspaper & the STATUS slip from the M.O

17) OC nite is always the time when mockery is the sincere form of flattery n u'll escape wif it.

18) Be prepared for fire drills at all time. So if u suay kena during showering, grab ur towel n ur fire drill items n be prepared to be called ''Rambo'' for the rest of ur BMT life so much so that it became ur real name......(wink!)

19) Tekong Ladang camp hav the best free view of the S'pore Airshow consisting of commercial flights n rescue choppers.

20) Jerrycans n camrolls are ''fancy'' names for containers that store potable water. Who the f*ck came up wif these names?!!

well tts mostly the truth n yths for Tekong life....If u got any more go comment on it.....till then bye!!!

After 9wks n a few days of silence, MMM is ready to share his BMT experience!!!

In no way am I promoting tis bk.....btw.....neither hav I read it....lol

To my dear readers (if any at all), I apologise for deliberately not updating my BMT journey during these 9 weeks & the reason is I'm too shag until cannot think. Btw, if I were too update my blog during the course of my bmt, it might get too ''overblog'' as I'm too overcome wif emotions but dun worry tis blog i will share wif u wat could be shared of my bmt from enlistment to POP!!

Firstly, lets talk abt the tranquil Tekong resort......NOT!! Those old farts might compare our bunks to resort comparing tt durin their time facilities were like crap. However, believe me, its anything but resort. Sure facilities r gd n u get to ride a ''5 star ferry'' when u book in n get catered food, but those are the ONLY benefits.

Enlistment Day- ''Fellow enlistees say farewell to ur loved ones''

That was a time of fear n all sorts. I summed it up in easy simple words that it was frightening. Looking at all the blur like sotong faces. Sgts n the upper ranks lookin ready to pounced u as soon as ur parents r gone. It got tis orphange/prison style look. The faces n emotions seem like wat do we do wrg to deserve tis or for others wat the fuck am I doing here. After tt all the zzz boring admin stuff.....tis duffel bag which i think can fit one healthy 10yr old boy inside n ur best fren, the field pack..

The People I met that made up the Coy!

I was enlisted into a company that has a name of an animal known for its endurance n speed. Like wow, I'm so screwed my 2.4km timing is anything but tt (actualli hor it gotten worse) . Well interesting stuff r the ppl in my platoon. We got a Platoon Sgt who was an ex-pageant representative who is co-currently retaking his A levels whom also has Psycho-motor prblms when it comes to marching. Like wow! There tis blur-like-cock sgt who gives monotonous n soft commands who appears expressionless n got the detail ''almost'' lost durin SITest (i'll tell u later wat tis thingy is). Then there is the PC or platoon Commander who hails from an elite JC, wif an interesting vocabulary n phrases when it comes to fuckin u inside out tt ppl loves to imitate n is a hard clubber whom also represents the national team in water polo...woW!! However the most interesting ppl, r the fellow platoon n section mates....to protect their identity I give them ''codenames''

the slacker- Rather easy going guy who eats everyone's food n call those who fallout n take MC's as pussy....rather layback most of the time...but is a top student in a jc....will do his own OTOT workout in the bunk wif a towel as a mat.

the PSP gang- A group of 2 or 3 guys who challenged each other in games from PSP which they actualli bought together. Actualli other from compulsory PT n trainings, PSP-ing is wat they did most of the time.....or rather all the time

the down-PES dude- A unique individual who is trying his best to down PES becoz of an alleged ''medical condition'' despite getting gold for IPPT n havin a great fitness. So far his attempts hav been useless, last seen gettin an injection by the M.O for no apparent reason other than allerged ''giddyness'. His nxt gold is to down PES after BSLC at SISPEC.....may he finally succeed.

the very unhygenic n panicky medicine dude- Tis is an extremely intelligent individual who got into medicine...amazing. Problem is he was always in dilemma. Dilemma over which courses to reject ( he got accepted in his 3 courses)....dilemma over which scholarships he'll be gettin ( he apply for tons)....n whether he gets to defer to study medicine. Other than that, tis future doctor has a thing wif hygiene, as in not washing his clothes for 2 wks etc.....I pity his ''patients''...lol ....

the Dynamic Duo- the 2 most On n enthu ppl u ever meet. The typical OCS material...easily said the leadership type ready to take charge at a moments notice. U get my picture ryte? need I say more.

the failure buddies- the grp of guys who like to make fun of other ppl for chao keng. They are the loudest mouth grp of ppl coz they had to shut their own flaw which is failing IPPT. hmmm.....something tells me I'll see more of em in the very near future.

the Mambo Party Section- The entire section (our neighbours) ....who had celebrated POP since last may....every nite admin time is mambo nite....sing-a-long ala ''karoke'' session complete wif speakers filling oldie chinese songs to modern dance songs complete wif arrays of instant noodles n crisps n biscuits. Yes ,.....it was party every admin time for these ppl!

the Pranksters- A combination of few guys from 2 sections who teamed up to ganged up on another guy who becomes the victim. A tiring but worthwhile effort after lights out. Out of 3 attempts only one was successful. Nonetheless, the planning took the whole day (inclusive of training time)

the Rubik's Cube followers- A combination of erm 3 men who endlessly took their time to solve the cube using the best possible method n in the shortest time possible. Sounds nerdy but rubik's cube is actualli a pop icon here in the bunks...erm....somehow.

the weird dudes- The quiet ones who keep to themselves n do weird stuffs like closing their cupboard n putting emselves inside it like a vampire in a coffin n digging their nose n later licking it....urgh....enuff said.

the kong clubber who claimed to hav a long ''banana''- Yes the show-off dude who ia a fitness fanatic...big biceps....uncountable number of pull ups n in different positions n even proclaimed to hav a long ''banana''. There is no way to be certain for sure that the ''banana'' one is for real.....mebbe his future girlfriend n the girls he hooked up can confirmed that..lol

There u hav it with very colourful n interesting ppl in my platoon no wonder life doesn't quite sucks during bmt.

The Training - We are from *''shagooar" coy....*''shagooar'' coy!....(names hav been change to prevent complications to the writer)

I'll make this one short n sweet since most ppl heard it a million times so I wont be so direct.

Morning warm ups - actualli just some exercises n a simple ''run'' ....can sometimes appear to be more than warm up n u do it early in the morning to ''earn'' ur breakfast.

IPPT- like NAPFA minus sit n reach ....easy said

The long walks- actualli a progressive ''walk'' session wif ur field pack, ur rifle ur SBO to form the FBO.....n the distance range until the maximum 24km. Dun worry, singing n karaoke sessions provided!

Meet n greet the Field sessions- Talkin bout ''grassroots'' organisation...U get a 6 day contact wifthe wilderness n enjoy learning ''colourful'' phrases that are meant to pump adrenaline in ur blood. Also comes wif a complete ''farmer course on digging'' while relieving a real life "counterstrike game''. Warning: Hugging of ur ''wife'' is a must.....n ''Deepavali'' must be celebrated elsewhere.

Sitting sessions wif the veterans- An exclusive opportunity to mingle wif other ppl in ur coy into small details. Meet wise veterans in a ''games of tasks n missions''. 3 days in the wilderness n fun n laughter....!!

The playground- yes there's a playground in BMT. It's just that tis playground has a wall u need to climb...some that u need to balance....wif wires.....n most requires u to leap off it.....dun worry there's still the usual sand n the normal ramps..Oh yeah n u can just go n play it wif ur uniform n ur 'wife' too. Truly a ''family'' experience.

Arcade time- U play time crisis before tis shld be a piece of cake....ahem. No need explaining just tt tis time is FOR real...DAMN real.

Mixed martial arts- well not exactly....but treat it like one...

Other PT stuff not worthy to mention....

So yea, tts kinda sum wat I went thru. They're not easy though i described as if they r. What do u expect...I dun wanna scare future enlistees. But dun worry our efficient n trusted medics are always on standby. The medical stuff at the medical centre are also fast n very polite n understanding to ur needs. U guys agree wif me ryte?? hey wats tt spit on my blog for?? oh u're having a cough Its alrite then, the medic can help u!! another spit??!!! wtf!!!

POP - the ''PASSED'' Out parade

Some funny dudes in my coy said tt it was appropriately called Passing out parade coz a number of guys will passed out during the speech segment. Lucky no one does at least for my company tt is. Doing the drills n the roar n the ''gay'' hugging stuff was memorable. Too bad not much time to take pics coz the ''Penguin'' was sailing off to '"north pole''. However the preparations itself for tt day is super duper tough....go figure!!

So basically tts wat i went thru 9 wks in brief w/o mentioning the details or if I left out anywhere.......just let me noe.....but tt shld be it....for now!!